Review: Kanye West - 808's and Heartbreak

The loop:

Kanye West makes a new album. Where he sings. All the time. With an autotuner. And an 808 kickdrum. Shit.

Going up:

Well. Yeah. The 808 is back, and you could probably chalk it up as a good thing, depending on taste. Jeezy drops a nice verse somewhere here.

Going down:

So I wasn’t expecting anything from this album, and it managed to underwhelm still. From the production, which I dislike, to the whole concept, that sounds like a fucking joke, to the horrid overuse of the autotuner, nothing works here. Nothing. The subject matter comes off as whiney and childish, the concepts nor the production are there, and just… I must admit, I’m at a loss of words. Yeah, I’ve seen the reviews – the 5 out of 5’s that are given out for “artistic merit” and “breaking new ground” or whatever, certainly not musical merit. How any breathing human being can give this piece of shit album 5 out of 5 is completely beyond me. How any musical critic that gets his salary from reviewing music can give this anything more than 2 out of 5 is atrocious. I’m fairly convinced that these people don’t listen to these albums, they just give whatever ratings they feel like they should to appeal to a certain demographic.

Notable:

It’s not “new” “groundbreaking” or “ballsy”, it’s fucking crap. DON’T believe the hype, make up your own mind.

The verdict:

Nothing worth mentioning here. It’s bullshit. It’s a 3^rd grader music class effort. And a talentless 3^rd grader at that. The whole thing is a well contrived marketing gimmick, and it unfathomable how blind (or deaf, the case may be) people are. If this is where hiphop is going, I’m off the wagon. We had a nice ride.

3 / 10

Review: Scarface - Emeritus

The loop:

The 2-decade veteran Scarface comes through with another rap-a-lot effort called ‘Emeritus’. We took at for a spin.

Going up:

Its Scarface, for fucks sake. Mic presence, flows, attitude, the elder statesman bravado, it’s all there, it’s all unchanged and it’s exactly what long time ‘face fans expect. The man is still doing his thing admirably well, and manages to sound contemporary and fresh in 2008. It’s amazing for a man that was already considered a legend years back, to still be viable while so many others fell off.

Going down:

While ‘Face himself is still in top-notch shape, sadly, the team around him not so much. For me, the defining Scarface album is still “The Fix” with it’s uncanny production values and feeling throughout. Emeritus sadly feels disconnected, doesn’t touch on a variety of subjects, and lacks a bit of (or a hellofa lot of) polish. While there are a couple of good tracks, most of them feel outdated and half-finished. Song structure and album structure are both lacking, and raises questions of Rap-A-Lot’s current state. Scarface does what he can with the material, but when we have seen what he is still capable of with a proper team around him (Again, im referring to “The Fix”), Emeritus sadly leaves a foul taste in your mouth.

Notable:

Rumored to be his last album.

The verdict:

Scarface is still one of the best doing it, but sadly the album just doesn’t come together concenptually. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good album, and a fun listen, but certainly not a worthy testament for a man with the stature of Scarface.

7 / 10

Review: Common - Universal Mind Control

The loop:

Common is coming off the heels of two arguably classic albums – “Be” and “Finding Forever”, and is saying this is the type of music that has been missing from his portfolio – music for the summer.

Going up:

Change of pace is audible and works well. Common doesn’t use a single Kanye West track here, and the sound is clearly different from the 2 albums before it. The mood is clearly positive throughout, and at points it’s a really fun album to listen to. But..

Going down:

…the content is 50% ying yang twins with less cursing and more neptunes. Some really odd beat choices, some questionable concepts and most notably, the total lack of content. This is a pop-album, and while it technically is all and well, it is not something that will satisfy Common’s fanbase. Maybe it’s to reach a new audience – I don’t know, I don’t care. Also, what, 3 songs about fucking? On a album with ten tracks? While there is nothing wrong with little bumb-n-grinding, on UMC they just don’t work – at all.

Notable:

Only ten tracks, no Kanye beats.

The verdict:

Cheap, soulless, no-meat-on-the-bones effort from Common that leaves the listener in awe, and not in a good way. No fatal flaws in execution, but it’s the peewee football to “Finding Forever’s” NFL.

6 / 10

Review: Madden 09

The loop:

It’s the first sports game that adapts to you – it’s the pinnacle of 20 years of madden. Well, at least that’s what the press release says, if you take the fluff out. After the more-than solid next-gen pinnacle of Madden series last year, we took the ’09 edition for a spin on the xbox 360. Well, more like we took our normal life for a spin every now and then, and spent rest of the time playing Madden. Go Pack Go!

Going up:

Gorgeous, gorgeous graphics and animation. Though there are still times that the plays feel artificial, there is a noticeable improvement here. Last years gameplay mechanics were overhauled in some cases (running game), fine tuned in others (spectacular catches), and it’s the best madden game on next-gen so far – granted, anything else would be considered a failure. The commentary is better, or should we say, is there this year. The radio guy went, the feeling of real football is here.

Going down:

We couldn’t give three flying fucks about the supposed casual gamer outreach. It’s football, why should you be able to play it with one single button? It’s one of the greatest chess games of modern sports, and you do it all with one button? EA, please. While we understand the ideology behind this, that doesn’t mean we have to like it or applaud them for it. Make a football game, not Pong with shoulder pads and Chris Collinsworth. EA talked about having TV-like presentation, but falls short of the mark with redundant, lackluster presentation, and we’re talking about in-game stuff. The menu’s and such are slick as ever.

Notable:

We have absolutely no idea of the online league features, but we have heard they are barebones stuff, and not worth picking this up for. The game finally runs with smooth 60fps on the PS3. Crashes plagued it early, but patches have come out to fix this. Superstar mode is exactly as it was in 08, and scouting is still useless in franchise.

The verdict:

Madden 09 is an audiovisual success with some great gameplay but some lacking presentation and features. Here’s hoping next year’s game keeps improving, so we can finally have the defining football experience of the generation. If you love football, pick this one up.

8 / 10

Review: Fallout 3

The loop:

You’ve heard it all: The graphics are awesome, the DC landscape is really well done, and there are a lot of intriguing gameplay mechanics. If you are going to buy this one, you probably already did, and played, and formed your own opinion. The anticipation was huge, and many in the industry doubted if it could live up to the hype. Many said it did. What do we say? The review is of the Xbox 360 version, but from what we’ve gathered, it’s pretty much the same all around.

Going up:

Ok, so the area D.C. is awesome, with great variety and wonderful, accurate design. There’s a load of stuff to explore, and places to find. A lot of sub stories that are fun to follow, and a lot of weapons to find & make & fire. VATS (a pause-action targeting system) works well enough. Good balance on many design decisions, including health and boosts (or “drugs” as might be the case). Also, there is NO auto-levelling of the enemies, which is maybe the most important thing in a modern RPG to us.

Going down:

The story is, as we say here in AVM, ass. I really cannot fathom having any emotional connection to any of the characters whatsoever. Mind you, it doesn’t necessarily take away from the experience, but it certainly doesn’t add to it. The main story is roughly a 10 hour play-through, and the hyped three gazillion different endings are just a bunch of slides thrown together, based on how you played. In the end, I had more fun just exploring the scenes and not following the main story. And, most of all, when you run out of VATS points, and revert to playing it like an FPS, it’s really bad. Also, at times the world feels really unbelievable, mainly because a lot of stuff isn’t explained. Why is there electricity EVERYWHERE? Why are the cars from 1950’s?

Notable:

No multiplayer whatsoever. No way to continue the game after end sequence, you’ll have to load an earlier save to keep exploring. Level caps at 20, but it’s really no big deal, you’ll be almost done with it when it does.

The verdict:

A great experience, but the main story is forgettable. Review playthrough was over the 30 mark, and we’ll probably leave it at that – but it was a fun trip. Good mechanics, great design, disappointingly forgettable story.

8 / 10